/totally the newest book series, except not/
Okay first off, lets get this straight. I, Kero, have absolutely no issues about my own gender, identification, or anything of the sort. I a not a complainer, I am not asking for help, and there is nothing wrong. I do, however, think I should let my watchers know and get a few things straight about my -opinions- on gender identification and the general gender revolution that has been in the last few years been sweeping the internet.
While my opinions may not be entirely popular, be aware that I in no way am against any one else's choices, opinions, or lifestyles! I hope I can make that clear through this; people tend to get gung ho on the idea that if you're not with someone, you're against them. Leave that mindset at the door, please. It's dirty and mangy and will give you diseases.
Got that done?
Alright, then lets get started.
What is this Gender Identification thing anyhow?
Okay, okay, believe me, I know. I've done my research and watched, listened, and generally been on the edge of the crowd. From my early ages, when there was really only two known genders, to later on when there have been more and more added, I've seen these things grow. But the question is... what is it? What is it for?
The regular definition is basically a person's personal view of themselves, either a male, female, or neither, based on society's established roles of each gender difference. This is generally very important and personal to the person themselves, as part of who they become later in life or what paths they follow... at least in theory. The fact is, was, or somewhat, that these terms were really too narrow and the gender differentiations were too strict for most people to follow without feeling in some way 'pressured to perform' in a certain social way.
They still are, actually, These are called 'stereotypes', and I'm sure each and every one of my readers knows what those are. These stereotypes exist for everything under the sun, actually. They exist for me, for you, for your race, for your color, for your eye color, even for your -hair-. Stereotypes have a lot of power in society because they affect how people see you, regardless of how you see yourself.
So you can see how this would start to become an issue. There's no way a certain set of 'ideals' pertaining to 'male' or 'female' would possibly be able to encompass all that someone was, even if they have that gender and set of behavior that have been so pounded into their head as 'the right way to be'. So you're a girl? You must like boys, and play with dolls and makeup and dress up, and if you don't, there's something wrong with you. If you're a man that likes romance, peace, and doing your hair and manicures, or even the color pink, you're clearly an oddball. Eccentric.Freak.
I think the problem really started when someone got it into their head to say 'well, I can't be a freak if I'm really the other gender on the inside.' (Now I'm not dissing those that actually are
the other gender on the inside, either. This is an example kind of thing that doesn't include that, I apologize but there's no way to make this completely generalized)
Seems like a brilliant rebuttal, actually. I did this myself as a child, and I thought myself the cleverest girl in all the world. If I was a boy, no one would tell me I couldn't play with trucks and horses because I'm a girl. Because I'm a boy, and I'm supposed to like that stuff. Girls were boring and weak and gross and stupid and no fun.
Of course, no one really bought that. There was still massive, crushing social and peer pressure to be 'what we want you to be' rather than 'who you are'. Why, because 'we want you to be normal' or 'you're never going to live a happy life if you don't accept that you're a girl'.
It was at that point in my life, even at such a young age, that I decided that these people had no idea what they were talking about.
It's not the same with everyone, of course. Some people are very dependent on the opinions of others. Some people, usually young teens that place far too much self worth on the values that are put on them by their peers, cannot fathom life lived on their own power. I was an exception to that; I didn't need people to tell me I was normal, I decided that I didn't like normal and being a freak was alright. But the urge to -belong- and find similar mindsets is so strong in our social community that we instinctively move for anyone that might share what we think and feel. 'I can't be the only one, can I?'
The answer is no. Of course you're not the only one; there are hundreds of people out there that feel the same way and the internet is more than willing to give you all the access you'll ever need to meet them. Groups start to form. The general basis of things starts as 'sexual preference', but soon expands out, not just to what sex you are attracted to, but to all kinds of 'deviations' to the 'social norm'. With the onset of those that understand how you're feeling, suddenly it's something really important. All your groups have names; you're all different in your own way but you're all the same, something to rally for, to fight for.
Children, too young to even really know what sex is, start to think 'maybe I am attracted to my own gender' or 'I am a pansexual.'
Thinking about this though, there's only one problem to begin with, isn't there? Now that you're years ahead, with at least a dozen different, individual genders with their own different, individual modes of conduct when dealing with them, just THINK.
What started all of this?
'I am uncomfortable with the stereotypes of 'male' and 'female' social roles and they don't allow me to be content to be myself.'
*taps fingers together*
Let me repeat this.'I am uncomfortable with the stereotypes of 'male' and 'female' social roles and they don't allow me to be content to be myself.'
Look, then, at the entire system of various gender identification, now fragmented into many facets, and you start to see a common theme. Most all of the definitions are applied with male or female stereotypes in mind. The differences are only in what ratio is contained in each one. There was no escaping the things that they were uncomfortable with in the first place, whatsoever. Instead, the original labels, 'male' and 'female' respectively, have been cut and pieced together in an amalgamation of what people want out of each one.
Lets face facts, here. When it comes down to it, when it REALLY comes down to it, 'male' and 'female' are just biological sexes. That's what the words ARE. You either have a penis, or a vagina/breasts, both in some cases, or if that's your choice, neither. No one in this world can escape their physical sex without surgical help; this is the body you get.
But why is WHAT you are so important in a deciding factor about WHO you are?
Why is how OTHER people see you so important in deciding your LIFE?
I admit, it makes me sad, very sad, to see kids as young as twelve years old claiming to be bisexual, or pansexual, or gay or lesbian, because at that point, you don't actually know and you should not be thinking about sexual attraction to begin with. These sexual and gender labels are being mixed up, a lot of them are becoming an easy way out for kids that aren't certain of themselves, a fallback comfort that serves not as an actual expression of who they are, but as a place where they feel they can find friends in a confusing and hostile world.
The only issue is, that's not always true. Instead of pressuring children or young adults or anyone to be just 'male' or 'female', we start pressuring them to be one of a dozen different strange and difficult to understand choices that will possibly define them for the rest of their lives. Children, as a rule, should not be sure of who they are or what they are yet; that's the miracle of discovery, because you don't KNOW until after you get out of your teens. Generally, you only really start knowing once you reach your early to late twenties. Social pressure often pushes people into the roles society chooses for them far before that; young girls and men get married out of high school, have kids, and it all ends badly because they realize they're unhappy and overwhelmed. People in genderqueer relationships move out miles and miles to meet people, to live with them, and end up breaking up and living on the edge of the streets because they gave up everything for a relationship they were never certain about to begin with.
The same problems. They just end up with different labels.
My thinking is, and always has been; why expand and compound an issue that has a single base? Beating around the bush, creating identities so people can feel comfortable in their own bodies or their own attractions, all stems from the same fatal flaw.
Stereotypes. You have to be manly if you're male; you have to be girly if you're female. Get back in the kitchen, wench. Go out and drink and party and talk about cars, man.
I will say this. You cannot, and never will, be able to control how other people see you, think of you, or talk about you. No matter who you are, no matter what gender you choose to be, this will remain the same. There will be closed-minded people that think you MUST fall into one or the other category, that your hair is too long or short, that you are terrible for your physical aspects, that your boyfriend/girlfriend/nongenderfriend is a sin against nature, or there will be people that are perfectly acceptable
of your life choices and enjoy you for who you are no matter WHAT their own thoughts on the matter. Shoving a label on yourself like a nametag won't eliminate these outside perceptions in the least. Forcing people to refer to you by a certain set of pronouns doesn't foster respect as much as it does confusion and resentment, because the terms 'he' and 'her' are never, and have never, been offensive. They are a representation of your physical body, not WHO you are as a person.
A label, a name for what you are, doesn't tell the 'casual observer' anything. Unless your first words to someone are 'Hi I'm Gabriella and I am Transgender', no one is going to know. There is no set 'look' or 'talk' or anything else for those of a different gender identity, and most people simply do not find it important to everyday interaction
and only will if you make it an issue.
I think these labels, these different genders and the terms that go with them, are completely superfluous. They aren't -needed- if you focus on the real issue, which is obliterating the stereotypes that plague the sexes. At that point, your physical sex won't matter, nor will your sexual orientation, because we will all be something completely wonderful.
Not boyish, masculine, girlish, or feminine, or intersex, or trans, or gay, or lesbian.
We will be human
And I think society needs much more human, and far less segregation.
You are free to discuss on this. I won't bite, and I have no issues if you don't feel the same way. Just don't try and tell me that my opinions are harmful, because they really aren't. I don't see how wanting true equality, freedom for everyone to express who they are without fear of having to fit within a certain set of parameters, to be harmful in any way, nor is my practice of accepting everyone and what they see themselves as. I cannot fathom how anyone would say that is possible and I won't buy it.
But if you have your own thoughts, if you disagree that labels may be too much, if you agree, or if you feel like there is some other solution or sort of thing that hasn't been looked into, please comment!